I realize that this won’t post until Monday, the day after Easter. But, I decided to write this blog anyway. The idea came to me this morning, Good Friday. I will have my editor post it on Monday, the day after Easter.
Like I do every day, I spent fifteen minutes of quiet time. This is my alone time to plan my day. I thanked the Lord for another day of hope, promise, opportunity and success. A day to receive, live and speak the Gospel. I was in a quandary what next week’s blog topic would be. And then it happened. The Holy Spirit led me to the theme for the week’s blog.
It actually started on Holy Thursday. My husband Ed and I went to a special Easter luncheon at our church. The Pastor’s topic was, THANK YOU. Not giving thanks, but the two words, THANK YOU.
This was food for thought. I started to think how lazy, we’ve become in giving thanks. Today, we do everything over the internet. We send a typed thank you note. We send cards of all sorts. We even write our letters on the computer. Little is done, any longer the old fashion way. By hand.
And, we often thank God in a sloppy, lazy manner too. But, I wanted to do something about saying THANK YOU to God the Father for giving us life.
Just saying THANK YOU, didn’t seem enough. I needed to THANK God the Father for sacrificing His only Son. It was when Jesus was nailed to the cross that brought forth our redemption. And this message made me think about my own life.
God has a purpose for everyone.“But I have raised you up for this purpose. That I might show you my power. And that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” (Exodus 9:16).
God’s purpose is the one that lasts. Each of us are born with a purpose and a calling. We have the opportunity to discover it or completely miss it. The influence of the Holy Spirit gives us insight to His purposes for us.
I thought back over my life. Like most of us, we’ve gone through stages. I don’t often think about dying. But, this morning, I did. God the Father gave me life. He chose me for a reason. I have a purpose to fulfill here on earth until the Father calls me home.
So, phase one of my life was to be the best kid that I could be. Especially as a child, hard times can make it difficult to see God’s purpose. Often times, we don’t want to see that God is working our difficulty for our good. But, with the mindset that God is working things out for us, things don’t seem so bad.
In my case, I found it hard being a kid with a disability. But, the Lord and His purposes are perfect. Yet we are not. Doubts and fears can keep us from living out the purposes that He has established for us.
Even as a child, I reached out to God. The more I learned about God, and prayed to Him, I became stronger in my trust. I started to see His purpose for me. God longed for me to start on the pathway to the life He created for me. In Ephesian 1:11, “In Him we were chosen according to His plan. And in conformity with the purpose of his will.”
As I got older, I started to understand that I was born by His purpose and for His purpose. But, I still struggled to understand my disability. I had questions. How could I live a successful life as a person with a disability? I kept looking within myself to find the answer.
But, I didn’t create myself so how could I have the answer? It was God who directed my life. That’s when I began turning my concerns over to Him. After all, I couldn’t start the phase with the focus on me.
My disability continued to weaken me more. I started seeing miracles happening. They may have been small, but there were still miracles. My artistic talents grew and developed beyond my wildest dreams. I loved my work and delved into it with deep passion.
I felt alive because God willed me to live. I had my share of setbacks. I even turned my back on God. I went through a failed marriage. But, two beautiful children were His gift to us. Life didn’t make sense. And all roads came to dead ends.
I seemed doomed to be a failure. But why? How could a life that was so good, turn sour? I had strayed away from letting God use me for His purpose. I liked being in control. But, it says in Romans 8:6 vs. 8, “God isn’t pleased when ignored.”
I was smug. I knew I could find success if I put my mind to it. And I did, by the world’s standards. I had climbed my way to the top. I was a successful Director for a non-profit. I was well known in my community. And yet, I still missed the purpose that God created for me. In Mark, 8:35 it says, “Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self.”
I still couldn’t figure out what was not fulfilled in my life. Wasn’t I sacrificing a lot by having a muscle disease that was taking away my quality of life? I had a quantity of material things, but my heart felt starved and empty.
The next phase came without much warning. I spent the next fifteen years fighting three bouts of cancer. I prayed. I bartered with God. I wanted to give up on life. And I gave up on God. I wasn’t thinking about Jesus, my savior. I was thinking of me. Poor me…
But God wasn’t giving up on me. He sent the Holy Spirit through my husband to shake me up. He wasn’t through with me. Not yet, and neither was my husband. He said, “I know you have to do the work and go through the steps to rid the cancer. But, I’ll be with you every day, and we’ll get through it together.”
I knew it was Jesus talking to me. I was ashamed of myself for wanting to throw in the towel. My suffering was miniscule compared to Jesus’ suffering.
I learned through some Bible passages that God uses the disabled for His glory. God uses a disability to show His awesome love for all creation and to help us imitate His love. God allows things to happen for good reasons. God uses people with disabilities to inspire and advance to His kingdom.
People take things for granted. Like, getting dressed. Combing your hair. Picking up an object that’s fallen to the floor. Driving a car. Going shopping alone. Even feeding yourself without dropping food on the floor.
There are people who are blind who see better than people with eyesight. There are people who are deaf who can hear better than people with good hearing. Our momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory. And that outweighs the perfect body. God remains perfect, good, loving, kind, and just.
John 9:2-4 “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?”
“It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him.”
So, on to the next phase of my life.
Proverbs 3:5–6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.”
I threw speculation out the window. There was no more theorizing, conjecture or guessing games. I went straight to the man who sat in the driver’s seat of my life. I asked the Creator of my life. The Bible said. “God’s wisdom goes deeper into the interior of His purpose.”
Revelation! I needed to hear God’s words. After all, He was the source of my purpose. God thought about me before my conception. He chose everything about me right down to the color of my eyes and hair. He chose my gender. I was not a mistake. God chose my parents. I was conceived in His mind. He custom made my body just the way He wanted it. He predetermined my natural talents. He knew me inside out. He planned the days of my life in advance. And only He knows the circumstances and the moment of my death. And He chose my purpose.
God had a plan in creating me. He never does anything by accident. And He never makes a mistake. God’s motive for creating me was His love. God made me so He could love me. Because God is love.I no longer drift through life without a purpose. The Holy Spirit guides my way through each day. And Jesus walks with me through my day.
Once upon a time, I was a student. And then I became a mother. And then I was an artist because that was my purpose at the time. But then that purpose changed and God sent me back to school. He had many wonderful things planned for me that required a higher education. He also planned an early retirement because of more health issues.
The Lord was a focal point in my life now. But He knew I would soon need someone to be my caregiver. And that’s when He introduced this wonderful man into my life. And we married. So now we are a blended family of five children and six grandchildren.
My physical abilities have deteriorated. I no longer can use some talents that were on loan to me by God the Father. But He has a new purpose for me now. I might be living the final chapter of my life. I don’t know. But, what I do know is God has more for me to do. He’s not finished with me yet.
So, I’m off to yet, another phase of my life. I’m grateful for my relationship with Jesus. I’m grateful for my life. The Holy Spirit has gifted me with words. I write two weekly blogs. My general K. Lorraine blog, also known as ‘My Funn Stuff.’ And a new blog. I love my work…
‘No Shoes Required.’ This is a new concept blog. A blog, especially structured for women with disabilities. It’s a sharing & learning web blog. I hope you take the time to take a look. You don’t need a disability to have fun. Most women love fashion. I’m a self declared Fashionista. And, I believe that I have my heavenly Father’s permission.
So, in this new phase, my instructions are to pound on the keyboard. And click my mouse until my fingers no longer function. And then, well, I’ll just have to wait and see.
You can read more of work by visiting my website. http://klorraine.com. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook and Goodreads. My books are available in the Amazon e-book store. Createspace. Goodreads. Barnes & Noble and the K. Lorraine website.